Once you have realized that you are in a toxic relationship, whether it is with a significant other, a friend or even a family member, you must step out of denial before you can even begin leaving the relationship.
You must see that you are in a toxic relationship before being able to grow and when you do, you can begin to leave your toxic relationship.
- Keep a Log of Your Emotions
You may have heard that keeping a journal of your feelings is good for you. Well, it is, and it helps to identify various emotions that you may have been feeling while in your relationship. Going back through your journal can help you to identify if you are experiencing good emotions or bad emotions throughout your relationship. If you find that you are being told that you are not worth your partner’s time, that you are stupid, or any other negative remarks, you are in a toxic relationship that needs to be left.
- Identify the Pros of Your Relationship
When you are able to identify the pros and cons of your relationship, it can be easy to see if you are in a healthy relationship or not. Of course, all relationships are going to have cons but they will not be cons that you can’t or shouldn’t be able to handle.
We have to remember that all relationships are hard work; however, there are certain cons that you should not have to put up with. If you are not able to pinpoint any pros within your relationship, you are not in a healthy relationship. You should be able to label more pros than cons in a healthy relationship.
- Surround Yourself with Positive People
By surrounding yourself with positive people, you are allowing yourself to be surrounded by a different mindset. The more positive thoughts that you have, the less likely you are to allow your toxic relationship to affect you in the manner a negative mindset would. You are able to see things that are happening within your relationship and get constructive feedback as to how you should approve the situation and get out of the relationship.
- Repeat Affirmations to Yourself
No matter what your partner has said to you, you must repeat affirmations to yourself sure as, “I am worth it” or “I have more to live for than this.” There is much more that you deserve than being stuck in a toxic relationship with someone that wants to control you and make you feel as if you are worthless.
No one should ever have to feel like they are less than and no one should ever have someone that they care about tell them that they are worthless. Know your worth and repeat affirmations to yourself so that you will start believing the words you are saying and striving for more.
- Allow Some Rest
Being in a toxic relationship and leaving that relationship can really take a toll on your mental, emotional, and physical strength.
When you leave your toxic relationship, it is advised that you take some time to rest and recoup from your suffering. It is important that you give yourself rest so that you can be in a better state of mind. You will need time to heal and time to come to terms with what took place throughout that relationship.
No matter what you experienced, allowing yourself to rest and build yourself stronger is imperative for your next relationship. Do not rush into another relationship as you can sabotage that relationship or you can end up with another toxic person.
The meaning of fulfillment for one person can be drastically different from that of someone else, we are all unique in our wants and needs. When we consider a relationship and the fulfillment of those within it this becomes even more complex.
All too often the senses of what constitute a fulfilling life do not completely match and one partner may feel less fulfilled.
A Harvard study performed over 75 years entitled “Triumphs of Experience” and written up by George E. Vaillant suggests that those who have success in love tend to live longer. It essentially hints that all you need is love but love is hard to maintain when people are left unfulfilled in a relationship and sometimes love just is not enough. (https://www.hup.harvard.edu/catalog.php?isbn=9780674503816&content=reviews).
Be Honest About Your Standards
Relationship coach and author Bernardo Mendez believes that people need to be honest with themselves when it comes to deciding if a relationship is fulfilling their needs. A brutal understanding of what personal standards are in a relationship can bring a stark realization.
If expectations have been drastically lowered just to keep things happy or mistreatment forgiven just to create an easier path there are serious issues. (https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-17416/how-to-leave-a-partner-whos-bad-for-you.html).
A big question to ask oneself is if you were on the outside looking in and it were a friend or loved one in the relationship what you would tell them to do. If the answer is move on then this may well be the appropriate choice. Merely by understanding and accepting this truth you can take the first step in ending something that is not working.
Examine What They Actually Bring to You
People will often have something that holds them to a person which does not necessarily equate to a strong relationship. It may be dynamite passion, a feeling of security or a sense of being needed. But what does your partner fail to bring to the relationship?
Maybe they are not supportive, perhaps they make you feel bad about yourself. The ultimate question is are the things they offer available elsewhere in addition to the other things you need to feel fulfilled.
If you can let go of the one or two things that you do like in order to seek the dozen other feelings you need it becomes easier to let go and take that leap of faith.
Establish a System of Support
When a relationship has existed for a long-time friends and family often take a back seat somewhat. This distance can make ending a relationship daunting when you worry where will I go? Who can I talk to? Take a little time reestablishing your connections outside the relationship and build yourself a landing pad of people who know how you feel and will have your back. This supportive group will make the transition easier and less scary.
Commit and Do Not Turn Back
If, on reflection, the relationship has been found deeply wanting and no longer suitable to your happiness and needs then the decision must be made. You may have tried and tried to make it work but now you have no choice. Once you accept it is time to move on you just have to take that step. If you need support to leave make sure you have help, some relationships can be physically hard to end. An abusive partner may react badly so if you are in the least bit afraid make sure you have help.
Once you have left do not look back and continue moving forward. If you stop and reminisce about the good times you may start to doubt yourself.